Friday, May 27, 2011

This Moment

{this moment}

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

from Soul Mama

Thursday, May 26, 2011

I love it! PRIDE

I love these new shirts! I love Old Navy! I love acceptance! Can't wait for these shirts Monday at Old Navy!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Pneumonia SUCKS

Viral Pneumonia: Viral pneumonia is when an infection causes swelling and fluid in the lungs. The fluid in the lungs may make it hard for you to breathe. Viral pneumonia, also called viral pneumonitis, happens most often during the winter. People with viral pneumonia can have symptoms that range from mild to very severe (bad).

Is it just me or does anyone else feel like there is an elephant sitting on your chest? I can not believe what has taken place.

This lovely long weekend was beautiful outside. The kids were both away so it left some amazing quality time for Amanda and I. We were both looking forward to a weekend outside, gardening, tons of bike riding, visiting friends and just being!

Thats not what happened!

I was feeling super sick, a weird cold. I never take anything but i was falling slowly in love with cough medicine as it knocked me out. Usually a good sleep 7 hrs is lots. Nope I slept a massive 26 hours. I knew something was up...or down! I only got up to pee, shower, force myself to eat as I was feeling so weak. And back to bed. I am not a sleeper so it was very weird.

I woke up and ate supper and I just could NOT get air in. I was worried but I just took small breaths in. I started thinking . Maybe I have asthma. I really could not breathe very good. It was weird. I took another shower and tried to relax. I watched a show with Manda and waited. She ran me a bath as I had a fever and it broke out into a weird sweat while I just sat. As she prepared the bath, I knew something was wrong, really wrong. I could not stop my horrid cough. I could not breathe, my legs and arms were numb for well over 5 hours. I could feel them but not really. I text Tim, asked him what he thought. He said sounds like pneumonia, to go to the doctor. Not the hospital because I woul have to wait a few hours to be seen.

I could not breathe, it was really getting bad. I asked Manda to take me to the hospital, I was getting a wee bit FREAKED OUT! Seriously I could NOT get AIR IN. I was so scared.

We got to the hospital and I was standing at the line and the next thing I know I was on a chair, then moved to another chair, then moved to another chair. The took me straight to a room. My O2 was at 82% to 88%. Not good. The doctor was right in and I was given so many different things I can not tell you what I had. I had an ECG, I had stickers all over, they were monitoring my heart. I had a chest xray in my room, then down the hall. I was on breathing things and had a shot in my stomach, I had an IV. I was hopped right up.

When I was able to breathe a little. I was finally told it looks like Pneumonia....BUT the chest xray shows spots on your lungs, so we are going to be sure, we want to rule out blood clots an cancer!!! SHIT!

I was admitted and would have my CT Scan in the morning. As the doctor said, " If it quacks like a duck, walks like a duck, and looks like a duck, it is probably a duck, but let's rule it all out". He said that if it was just viral pneumonia I would be able to go home in the morning.

I was hooked up all night long to oxygen and monitored, I worked hard to keep my O2 passed 95%. Poor Amanda was trying so hard to sleep. I had to beg and plead with her to go home for a few hours and sleep. Then finally in the morning I went for my CT scan.

I was fine all the way through. I was a bit nervous, a lot when he first mention the C word. But I was fine. Until after my scan when they said MY ROOM WAS READY!!! I started to cry. Amanda was not with me and I was trying to hold it in. It was a long 10 mins to my room. I was wheeled in this huge bed, trying not to fall apart. The only reason I would stay was IF there was a blood clot or cancer. I arrived at my room and saw Amanda and Roxane and the tears flowed. I could not speak. I was coughing up my lungs. I was so sick. I was overwhelmed. I was devastated. I asked the nurse " Why? Why am I admitted, why am I staying? She said I was admitted before the results to just wait. She will go find out. I needed my medicine. I was long over due. I could not breathe, I was done.

In the end I was FINE! I only have viral pnuemonia and I was admitted a lot earlier. A bed just came available. Bad timing. There is not a lot I can do but rest,.... a lot. And I have codeine, which I do not like, to suppress my cough. I have some lung machine to strengthen my lungs, but I just need to focus on getting heathy.

Amanda was my rock. She was always there and takes such good care of me. our first night, I woke up struggling to breath every 3 hours. She was there with my meds and quietly supporting me. I love her so much.

So now I will focus on breathing and healing!~

Friday, May 20, 2011

Tim is 21

I remember it like it was yesterday!

I was camping at Birch Bay Ranch and I could not sleep. I was just hot and restless. I wanted a Sunday baby. I thought I was in labor so many times that I did not even think my restlessness has anything to do with the fact that I was ready to have a baby.

Some friends came out on the porch with me and we were visiting. I could not get comfortable and they fell asleep.After a while I realized my insides were doing some very strange things. I woke up my friend Dana, who told me to go back to sleep. After much convincing she finally got up!

I had an amazing labor....until I hit 10 cm and everything STOPPED! I had NO desire to push, no more contractions, just done. Well then came the vacuum thing. That did not work. They gave me pitocin to get the contractions going, that was horrid, I think I would have rather been shot. I was tired and wanted to sleep. My body was done and baby was happy roasting a bit more.

Then came the forcepts, He came out this perfect little baby boy. All cone head and squishy. So beautiful and mine. I was not sure how I felt because no words could describe the incredible love that soared through my soul. He was perfect. he let out his I am here gentle cry and I held him.

From that moment in time life became magical. Every sweet breath, every coo, every single moment he drew on my heart. I loved him so much. He was so beautiful and easy. He was a beautiful baby.

That baby grew and I can go on about every single moment in his life as they are all dancing in my soul. His first steps, he was so little and his tuft of blond hair, he was so careful and then took off. His first time as a ring bearer, and many to follow. His first crush, Kelsey 2 grades older. The excitement he had at meeting one of his best friends, his baby brother, Jakob. He adored and still does his sister Taty, He to this day is so connected and great with them.He was so amazing to friends and was surrounded by many. He did some modelling and acting as a wee guy, only 4 yrs old. How he was able to go to Hollywood and work. How he loved his friends, How he followed God. I remember when he went on a missions trip, I wanted him to appreciate his life, he thought they were worked to hard. How we travelled, so many road trips, so many times to California. I remember his first college class, I was so worried, he was 15. But he was amazing. I remember the times his gentle heart dealt with some things life throws at us. I remember when he became an EMT, I was so worried as we studied together an he has to cover the pictures so i could read to him. I remember how for a while we really did not see eye to eye but always felt heart to heart. I remember his moving out, I cried, I longed for my baby. But I knew it was right. I remember meeting Kassia, his fiancee, an how I wanted to protect him, but he loved her and he was right, she is amazing. I remember and will always remember the amazing beautiful boy he is.

One day 21 years ago, I met one of the most beautiful people I have had the privilege of meeting, he is my son, he is my boy and I love him with all my being and look forward to watching and remembering all there is to know about him.

If love can be described with one word today for me it is Timothy. I grew as a person because of him, he is unbelievably amazing.

Happiest birthday to the incredible Timothy! I love you!


Timothy asked Kassia to marry him and she said YES!

Kassia is perfect for Tim, she is strong and sweet.She is sassy and gentle, She is beautiful and fun. She is all the things he will cherish and I also cherish. She is a beautiful soul and I am so happy to have her as a daughter in law soon!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

MS Society of Canada Fundraising and Friends

Team Eiffel off my Bike!
Sandra, Scotty, Me, Roxy, Amanda, Emily, Cathy and Marci!

Good Old Scotty! He never drinks and he drinked a lot! He also shared a lot of stories!

Friends Forever...

Layden, me and Roxy!

A bunch of the kids that came to our Pub Night! The littlest guy bid and won on the main table!!

Lyn, Me and Stacey!

Scotty you are the best! Our only guy on the team, he is our MAIN MAN!

Layden, Roy and Sandra! The team strength!

Roxy ready to party!!!! Or is that Roy??

Tatyanah and Mason our cheerleaders at the BBQ!!

We raised over $10000 for MS Society of Canada so far! Thank you to all our friends and family for the great support and friendship supporting a great cause!